Friday, September 15, 2006

 

On Hugo Chávez’s campaign proposals, foie gras and a planet called Iris.

Originally published here

Dear readers, after the harsh treatment I received in Miguel’s blog and my wife’s bugging complaints about my intensive ghost blogging I decided to retire for a while. But now that I have heard that Tom Hanks Daniel has been lost in the jungle of complicated European airports, I will help him once in a while, at least until he finds his way out of Paris Airport.

Daniel, if you read this, I hope that I will get a nice tin of foie gras in return, just go straight to the first floor, right beside the silk scarves store where they also sell the huge brie cheeses, you cannot miss it.

A tin of foie gras … 50 Euros, a devoted ghost blogger with a tomatoes section….priceless…

Yes, yes, they do accept Venezuelan Master Cards.

Back to the post…

The presidential campaign is now in full swing. Rosales has been visiting the barrios, being bashed in Quico’s blog, defended in the Suffolk vampire blog and, more importantly, being attacked twice by what looked like a bunch of Chavez’s followers.

Chávez, on the other hand, after visiting Beloroussia, Angola, Cuba, Siria, Iran, Cuba, The North Pole, Tibet and Cuba came back to La Havana…sorry, to Caracas, with some interesting ideas for his presidential campaign. I have been compiling his proposals to offer them to the readers. Here they are:

1.- He called for a Revocatory referendum to remove Manuel Rosales from the Zulia government office. This is quite an interesting and creative initiative, it is exactly the type of proposal everyone was waiting for, in particular the Zulia voters that were the only ones in Venezuela to elect over and over a non-Chavista governor.

2.- He called for a Revocatory referendum in 2010 with a question on revoking his mandate, and another question on allowing eternal reelection. Daniel had an interesting insight on the issue (see here) whereas Bruni got a link on what Chávez really said and explains the tricky details of the proposed “double jeopardy” (see here).

3.- He asked his followers to unify into a single party that will be the party of the people of Venezuela. He received the approval of his mentor Fidel who said that Chávez created an “indestructible” model. His devoted fan Mari Pili Hernández already has a name for the party: “Partido Socialista de Venezuela”.

5.- He suggested that on September 11, the WTC was bombed and that there was some kind of conspiracy behind the terrorist acts that should be looked into…I guess that the planes we were watching on TV that day were really an Oliver Stone film.

6.- He led a ferocious battle for a spot on the UN security council that thanks to the new game “Where in the world is Hugo Chávez?”, Venezuela has almost won.

7.- I cannot find anything else…yes, I know I am a lazy ghost but frankly, I have tried hard and I am running out of Chavez’s promises…

Unless…

Mr. President, did you realize that Pluto is no longer a planet? That the oligarchy of the previous solar system is gone forever? Have you heard that there is a small planet called “Iris”? Yes, Iris… Hugo? No, there are no Hugo planets…not yet…

…so now we got the next proposal for the Venezuelan Presidential Campaign!

Reporting from Cyberspace,

Jorge Arena

Your friendly ghost.



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